Historical Moment

Category:  Historical Reprints.
SourceStraight Talk! The Official Bulletin of The Edmund Burke Society
Editor:  F. Paul Fromm
Associate Editors:  Kastuś Akula
Writers:  E.B.S. members and friends
Directors:  The Council of the E.B.S.
Volume IV Number 6, March 1972 [Approximation:  cover illegible]

The Edmund Burke Society is a movement dedicated to preserving and promoting the basic virtues of Western Christian Civilization:  individual freedom; individual responsibility; a self-sacrificing love of country; and a willingness to work and pay one’s own way and not be a burden on others.  These virtues have made our civilization great.  Communism, socialism and welfare-state liberalism are tearing it apart.  The Edmund Burke Society stands for a regeneration of Western Civilization and firm action against all its enemies.

The E.B.S. is financed mainly through small donations from generous Canadians.  Straight Talk! is produced by voluntary labour.


 

Historical Moment

By Kastuś Akula

 

I know Henry will like my new hairdo

I know Henry will like my new hairdo

You can be as sure as you are walking on this planet that President Nixon’s trip will be the “media” people’s favourite dish for months and perhaps years to come.

How would you describe it if you were a perceptive junior high student, and were assigned the trip as a current history project?

Let’s try.

For a long time the Red Chinese did not like American President Richard Nixon and quite often called him “a running dog”.  Then, one time Nixon announced he wanted to go to Peking in peace and so the reds stopped calling him “running dog”.  In February Nixon took his wife Patricia and his secret agent Kissinger, the chap who has arranged this trip, and he took a planeload of secret service men and went to see Mau-Mao and Chew-and-Lie, the two head reds in China.

Many things happened while Nixon was in Peking.  First of all, Chew-and-Lie met them at the airport, and Peking correspondent sez there were no cheering crowds there maybe because president and Chew-and-lie had cool relations before, I mean they did not dig the same things about peace and war they were supposed to.  Anyway, that is why President Nixon went to Peking, I mean to patch up things about war and peace …

Anyway, then they had a reception for the Americans and they drank lots of toasts and Nixon smiled many times his grinning smiles, and there were lots of these Chinese who all dress and look alike … After that, they had climbed the wall and Dick Nixon said it was unbelievable, I mean the Chinese wall, which is the biggest wall in the whole world.  Then, they visited tombs of Chinese dictators, and after that American President met Mau-Mao himself, the chief man in Red China.  This man also wrote the red book.  He must be very smart, because everybody in China waves and shakes this book on account [of] what smart things are inside and they always quote it.  Even some red punks here in Tozonto — I mean those who dig Mau-Mao — carry this book and some­times shove it into your nose, if they don’t like you and happen to demonstrate …

In the theatre in Peking, the Red Chinese took Nixon and his wife Pat and all others to watch the red ballet.  Everything in this red China is red.  So this ballet lasted about five hours, and the story was about this revolutionary red girl.  Those correspondents who watched the ballet all agree that the ballet is real stinko propaganda and it wouldn’t pay the rent for the theatre in our city, never mind the profit.  Anyway, this Dicky Nixon, they say, was so exasperated watching this stinky ballet that halfway through he wanted to kick his darling Pat under the chair, but even that he could not do, because between him and his wife there sat this Mau-Mao’s wife who created this lousy show.

Anyway, even Patricia Nixon, Dick’s wife, did her part, they say, to promote better relations with the Red Chinese.  She visited the kitchen in the banquet hall, and she smiled many smiles to the cooks and, then, she visited the pig sty in the commune and smiled her many charming smiles to the pigs … Real great I mean.

Dick Nixon’s people carried a black box in which the correspondents say was a radio telephone and a button, so that if the talks did not go well with Mau-Mao and Chew-and-Lie or if these red murderers tried something cocky he could summon his boys to deliver some punches.  But everything went okay, they say, and President Nixon did not use the black box.

People on this side watched RV [sic] right from Peking.  I watched it too on account of this was a very important historical event, if you don’t believe my honest word you better listen to Dick Nixon who said that was the week that would change the world.  That may be so.  Anyway, people who watched Nixon on TV from Red China called him every dirty name in the book on account of he was hobnobbing with people who murdered over thirty million people and thousands of Americans in Korea.  Some think Nixon did a
complete turnabout on his old friends in Taiwan, sold them to the Red Chinese and, because of this, many people call him Chamberlain.  Before Nixon left Red China for home there was a long statement issued in which the Red Chinese and Nixon promised to build many bridges for peace and, also, Nixon promised to withdraw his troops from Taiwan, disregarding a mutual defence treaty with the legitimate Chinese nationalist government, the best American ally in Asia.  This looks like a complete sell-out to the reds.

In conclusion, this Nixon trip to China (like he calls it a “trip for peace”) must be a really bad thing for free countries, mainly for the United States and also Canada.  Local pinkos already call it a victory for Mau-Mao and Chew-and-Lie and grin their ugly dirty smiles.  I mean you can judge yourself …

The business people are very satisfied because apparently now the doors will open wide for trade with the Red Chinese.  They will sell them heavy machinery for transport, agriculture, factories, all kinds of strategic material and technical knowledge; in exchange they will get at least one giant panda for the American zoo, many spices, and textiles.  Lots of local people in business, who know, say that there will develop a Chinese fad in fashion and maybe foods.  One of my friends jokingly sez that we may all wear cotton-padded overcoats, like millions of Chinese.  Maybe some will.  I don’t know what they are good for.  Maybe when you drive a Ski-doo or a Sno-jet, then you run into something and roll out, maybe you don’t get hurt.”

            —  End of Essay
 

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